...and the crowd went wild...
For me, this scene captured an attitude that is certainly not new, but seems in recent months and years to be getting louder. There's not only a reluctance to change the words that one is using, but a sort of pride in "telling it like it is." "Sugarcoating" the language that you use is seen as a weakness, and changing the way you speak just to appease others is like giving up ownership of your own mouth, or worse, your personal freedom. And that's just unAmerican.
Now I could easily go on a rant about close-mindedness or selfishness here, but this is a behavioral science blog, and if there's one thing that we've learned in the world of behavioral science, it is that attributing behavior to "minds" or "selfs" does not lead to better understanding, or to change. In the world of modern behavioral science, understanding human behavior is accomplished by understanding its context.
An important part of the context in this case seems to be a rapid shift in what is considered normal, or "correct." Just in the last few months, we've seen huge shifts in gay marriage rights and acceptance of transgender individuals, and heated conflicts over the Confederate flag. Our cultural world is changing fast... and many people are having trouble keeping up.
But another, even more important part of the context is language itself. In gaining a better understanding of human language (and cognition), we've come to learn that one of the side effects of language, is a sort of inflexibility, or a tendency to get stuck. In order for language to be useful for human beings, it needs to be consistent. We can't just change the words that we use on a whim or language would become useless. We also can't just change our thoughts and ideas about the world on a whim or people would become confused and wouldn't know what to do or what to expect. And in order for words and thoughts to be useful, we need to behave as though they ARE the things that they refer to. In order for language to work, when your friend says the word "cup," you need to behave as though the noise coming out of his mouth is the same thing as a real cup. We have to treat thoughts and words as being "real." These rules are built right into language, and are what help to make it useful. But they have a cost. If we forget that we are playing this game of language, we forget that words are just words, and thoughts are just thoughts, it becomes very easy for us to get stuck.... we become inflexible... unable to change our behavior when it doesn't match with the words or thoughts we are used to.
So back to the issue of "political correctness." The difficulty that people experience with "political correctness" is that it breaks some of these basic rules of language. And when you are taking the game of language very seriously, that kind of thing freaks you out. If you find that words that you've used your whole life are suddenly "incorrect," it can be disorienting. And one of the things that happens when people get confused, is they get angry, and their responses become extreme. You'll hear people say things like "Everybody has to be politically correct nowadays, it's getting out of control!" almost as though if we keep changing the rules, no one will know what to say, and we'll all just have to stop talking to each other. Or a common response is just to ridicule the issue of political correctness, to portray it as just a bunch of over-sensitive babies who need to learn how to have a thicker skin. Or even worse, it's just groups of people with nothing better to do than to come up with new words that they want to be called by, just to inconvenience others, just for shits and giggles.
Breaking these rules can also feel as though reality itself is being challenged. For example, when a person begins hearing a new term like "transgender" or hears about bathroom signs being changed to accommodate transgender individuals, it is seen not just as a small change in words and signs but as an attack on reality itself. To change those signs is to change the very structure of the universe, which up until this point has consisted of "males," and "females," and THAT'S IT. With the issue of gay marriage, to allow two people of the same sex to marry is to destroy the "reality" of marriage. How many times have you heard someone argue against gay marriage because it conflicts with the "definition of marriage" as being between a man and a woman? Like allowing two people of the same sex to marry is unwise because you might piss off your dictionary. If you happen to be religiously-inclined, then reality and God are sometimes seen as one in the same, in which case you're not just changing signs on bathrooms, you are spitting in the face of the Almighty.
There's an irony in all of this, if we step back and really consider why people don't like political correctness. On the one hand, there is the objection that people are just too sensitive... they're too picky about the words that others can say around them... "it's just words, why don't they get over it?" Yet, by being unwilling to change the words you are using, you are immediately guilty of the same crime. If "words are just words," then why get so angry about having to use different ones? What is so hard about just dropping one term and using another one instead?
What is telling about this whole thing is that children seem to have a far easier time dealing with this than adults do, because they are still new to the language game, and they haven't completely forgotten yet that it's a game. (Check out these great examples: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibwLwpVAtTA, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiFDY6N33aw)
The problem here is that people are getting stuck inside the rules of language and are missing the point of "political correctness" altogether. In fact, I think that the term "political correctness" itself is partly to blame. If we're battling over what is "correct" vs. "incorrect," we're missing what is really at the heart of this issue. The issue of "political correctness" is not really about "correct" vs. "incorrect" words. It's not about groups of people arbitrarily picking new words and then forcing others to use them. No marginalized group ever gathered together in a small room and said, "Hey instead of people calling us _____, wouldn't it be fun if instead they called us ______?!" At its heart, this issue is about being considerate. It's about taking taking an extra second to consider others as human beings, to consider their history, and their struggles.
The politician I was speaking of earlier followed up his response with, "I don't frankly have time for total political correctness." But what he is really saying there is "I don't frankly have time for being considerate." And if we look at that statement for what it really is, it is a lot less cool looking. It's not strong, or truthful, or "realistic." It's rude, and self-centered. It's inconsiderate. It is simply saying "I'm not willing to take the time to consider the impact of my words on other human beings." And you know what... if people said it in this way, there would actually be some truth to it. It takes time, and effort, to be considerate. It requires thoughtful consideration. It's hard. And it's possible that it might not be worth it to some people to put in that extra work. If you want your life to be about money, business, and things other than people, than maybe when it comes to being considerate and compassionate, for you the juice is not worth the squeeze. But if you want your life to be about compassion, caring for others, sharing your experience with other human beings, then you might want to make time for being considerate.
I'm going to make a move here that would most likely drive an opponent of "political correctness" up the wall. I'm going to suggest that maybe the term "politically correct" isn't a great term. In fact, I think it's a really bad term. It completely misses the point. It's not about being "correct." And it's not about being "political" (i.e. making yourself look tolerant and accepting). It's about choosing to take the time to consider another person's perspective, for their sake, not for yours. Maybe something like "verbally considerate" might fit the bill. Or "linguistically compassionate." Doesn't really matter. The point is that it's not about being correct, it's about being considerate.
